Pikachu,
My co-worker "Fergie" is constantly trying to get me fired. She scrutinizes all my work as unprofessional and tells potential clients that I am unreliable. I tried to talk to her supervisors but she has turned them against me. I need this job Pikachu. I feel my only option is to find a way to get rid of Fergie. Pikachu, what should I do?
-Looking Over Shoulder
Looking Over Shoulder,
Pika pika pika pika chuuuuuu. Piiiikaaaaa, pikachu. Chu chu chuuuuuuu. Pika.
-Pikachu
Pikachu,
Squirtle squirtle squirtle. Squi squi squi squi squi squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiii. Squirtlllllllllllllle.
-Squirtle
Squirtle,
Pika! Pika pika chu chu chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
-Pikachu
Pikachu,
My boyfriend caught me snorting meth of his best friend's ass and now he won't talk to me. What can I do to make him love me again?
-Heartbroken
Heartbroken,
Pika? Pik?
-Pikachu
