PIÑATA ISLAND - Denizens of Piñata Island were awoken by the sounds of law enforcement agents raiding Piñata Compound at around 5:30 a.m. this morning. Sounds of gunfire were briefly reported but have been unconfirmed by law enforcement officials. It is unknown at this time who was in the compound when it was raided and if there were any casualties.
Police have erected a half-mile perimeter around the compound and have been removing crates of Piñatas and boxes containing evidence. It is believed that individuals who were within the compound were moved offsite shortly after the raid finished. Piñata Island Police Commissioner Jacob Tulip addressed the gathered crowd at a noon press conference. "At approximately 5:30 a.m. Piñata Standard Time, detachments of P.P.D. SWAT entered Piñata Compound in response to a call that we believe was from within the compound. The anonymous caller reported that Piñatas were being sent to parties with the intention of them being solicited for sexual favors. Arrests are still ongoing, and we will not comment further at this time," Tulip said.
While leaving the press conference, Tulip was asked how exactly the Piñatas could be used for sexual favors and replied, "I do not know. A part of me does not want to know. But we will find the answers we need and the guilty will be brought to justice. The only thing I can guess is that it has something to do with the Piñatas being made of candy."
Piñata Compound was built three years ago by Piñata Supply Corporation. Their company motto is, "PiñSCo, more Piñatas than you can shake your stick at."
