1. How many stupid minigames will your JRPG have?
5 or more - STOP - Your game is being made by Squaresoft.
4 - 4 points
3 - 3 points
2 - 2 points
1 - 1 point
0 - STOP - You are not making a JRPG.
2. How many playable female characters with unrealistically large breasts will your JRPG have?
5 or more - STOP - You are in the wrong genre.
4 - 4 points
3 - 3 points
2 Unrelated Characters - 2 points
2 Sisters - STOP - You are a Dōjinshi writer.
1 - 1 point
STOP - Your game will not sell.
3. How many playable female characters beyond the age of consent but with the body of a 12-year-old will your JRPG have?
5 or more - STOP - You should punch yourself in the dick.*
4 - STOP - You should be ashamed of yourself.
3 - STOP - This is still not normal.
2 - 2 points - But you are still suspect.
1 - 1 point - I guess no one will notice.
0 - STOP - Do you even know what a JRPG is?
* - In the unlikely event that you do not possess a dick look for a suitable replacement and have it poke you in the eye.**
** - The eye on your face.
4. How many important characters who use a sword or similar bladed weapon will your JRPG have?
5 or more - 5 points
4 - 4 points - Better be a space opera.
3 - 3 points - Better be a space opera with a lot of guns.
2 - 2 points - Better be the Cowboy Bebop on Steroids of JRPGs.
1 - 1 point - Nunchuck much?
0 - STOP - Can you put a blade on a gun or something?
5. How many characters will be named after body parts, weapons, or adjectives in your JRPG?
5 or more - 5 points - I hear Kojima Productions is hiring.
4 - 4 points - Perfect.
3 - 3 points - In the zone.
2 - 2 Points
1 - 1 Point
0 - STOP - Shouldn't you be getting ready for the renaissance faire?
6. How many characters will have green, orange, purple, or some other unnatural hair color in your JRPG?
5 or more - STOP - You must have a plain-girl-next-door looking character in your JRPG.
4 - 4 points
3 - 3 points
2 - 2 points
1 - 1 point
0 - STOP - Are you aware there is a minimum quota relating to this?
7. How many characters are good candidates for hentai fanart in your JRPG?
5 or more - 5 points - You JRPG should be packaged with tissues.
4 - 4 points - You are on the path to success.
3 - 3 points
2 - 2 points - Playing with fire.
1 - 1 point - You must possess overwhelming confidence in your plot-forming abilities.
0 - STOP - How did you get this far?
7 - 29 Points
The main character in your JRPG is a lone teenager (with amnesia/who was adopted). The main character's home is raided and destroyed by an unknown force. This results in the main character teaming up with a collection of fantastically powerful individuals who all have different colored hair and with no more than one of these characters being a parent or above the age of 30.
These characters will use (magic that everyone can use/some essence that gives them magical abilities/something that gives them magical looking abilities but is not officially magic) to destroy monsters and people as they travel across a world filled with incredible flying machines but inexplicably, no cars. Although able to destroy planets, the characters will be unable to overcome locked wooden doors without the proper key.
At least one character in the party will reveal in a cut scene that they are a princess, had a divine parent, are a robot, or are actually a ghost. These characters will discover some substance that contains the source of all life and knowledge named, (whatever), that allows them to defeat an angst-ridden antagonist who looks like a crazy-eyed, effeminate, male supermodel.
This concludes your JRPG plot creation. Please flip a coin to determine if one of your playable characters will die in a cut scene.
