I am here with Delta Squad leader Marcus Fenix and some of his fellow soldiers. The C.O.G. government has allowed us a few minutes to chat with the team before they are sent off to battle the Locust Hordes. Fellas, I know you are itching to start fighting so lets play a 15-question round. I get 15 questions and you answer as fast and as honest as you can. Sound like a plan?
Fine. That's one. (Cole, Baird, and Santiago laughing)
Fair enough. Marcus Fenix, you were imprisoned for four years for dereliction of duty before being freed by Dominic Santiago. You fought battles in the cities and the Locust tunnels. You were put in command of Delta Squad and detonated the Lightmass Bomb, striking a critical blow against the Locust Horde.
Is there a question in there?
Once the dust had settled, what is the first thing you did after returning from battle?
I was in prison for four years. I was then set free into a war where I saved the day. FOUR years. What do you think I did?
Yikes. Damon Baird, when you were first rescued by Marcus Fenix and the other Delta Squad members what were your first impressions?
C.O.G. had lowered their recruiting standards.
Ha ha! Yeah!
Seriously. At the time I was glad for the reinforcements. When your ass is on the line you tend to take what you can get.
Augustus Cole, The Cole Train, what do you think about the conflict between humans and Locusts?
(Thinks for a moment) Both teams played hard?
Dominic Santiago, what do you think about your Delta squadmates?
Oh they are the best. I could not ask for a better group of guys to work with. I would fight to the death for any of them. (Others nod in agreement)
(Offhandedly) Some more than others.
What is that supposed to mean?
I was just saying.
What? Saying what?
You seem to like sticking with Fenix more than...
That is bullshit! I will cover any Delta Squad anytime!
Well you seem to like covering Fenix the best.
Ooooooo! Takedown!
I don't know what you think you are implying but if you took your head out of your ass long enough you might remember I am looking for my wife! My wife!
All I am saying is it seems strange when you are rolling around on the ground supposedly dying and in need of help that you just brush me off...
Not this bullshit again! I did not see you!
You were looking right at me! We made eye contact! You said, "not you!"
No! You think I said that! I was delirious with blood loss and you think that...
But you just popped right up when your hero Fenix...
Fuck you Baird!
Kill the chatter. Next question.
Marcus Fenix, what's up with you and Anya?
We are fighting the same war.
I mean is there a personal relationship between you two?
We are in a war for the survival of our species.
Meaning?
Not at this time.
Post-game party! Yeah!
Augustus Cole, you have stated that your mother told you that you are invulnerable. Do you actually believe this?
Yeah! Mama said I can't die! (Pauses) Actually, I am quite aware of the caricatural tint of my behavior. I have found that it relaxes my fellow squadmates and raises their morale. It also instills a sense of confidence in my own persona relating to my abilities. For example, I say, "Mama said I can't die," therefore, I believe that, I cannot die.
What he said.
What is one thing that people would be surprised to know about you Augustus Cole?
I was a three-time Boggle regional champion. Boggle! Yeah!
Delta Squad, can I have a Lancer rifle?
What?
A Lancer rifle.
What?
May I have a Lancer rifle to experiment on?
I heard you the first time I was just trying to burn up your questions. (Cole, Baird, and Santiago laughing)
Yes very funny. So I can have one?
Nope. That's thirteen.
I see. Delta Squad, say I am looking to make a life with the Stranded in the ruins. What is my number one priority?
I think I can field this one. A good generator.
Yeah!
Need to keep the nights on at light so definitely a generator.
Agreed.
Well gentleman, this is my last question. It has been a pleasure and good luck killing something important. Now, you fight all sorts of things and go to all sorts of places and in doing so you get dirty, filthy dirty. Dirty with things that a human should never see, much less be covered in. So I ask you this, what is the secret to your success?
(In unison) Wet wipes.
